You Is Special by Bill Cashell   I know what you are thinking. That really looks like bad grammar. Shouldn’t it be “you ARE special? Well, if you are talking to some one that is exactly right. And that is the point. YOU is a very powerful word. When we were infants, we all thought we were the center of the universe. The only thing that mattered was ME, MYSELF and I. The rest of the world was just a supporting cast in my giant play, with me as the star. The truth is, even after we grew up it didn’t really change that much. Adults tend to hide the feeling of self-center ness with polite words and friendly greetings. Deep inside we are still asking, “How does that affect ME?” Suppose you invite a friend to join you at t anew restaurant by saying, “There is a new Italian restaurant that just opened and it is really good. Care to join me there for lunch? Before they answer you, they ask themselves, “By “good” do they mean the food, the atmosphere, the service or something else? They say it is good, but that doesn’t mean I will like it. Maybe they have poor taste”. As you notice the hesitation, you start to wonder, “Do they not like Italian food? Could it have been something I said?” Suppose instead, you had said, “There is a new Italian restaurant that just opened and I think YOU will like it. Would YOU care to join me there for lunch?” Phrasing it this way makes them the center of attention and even plants the idea that they would like it instead of taking your word that it is good. If you really want to make people feel good about themselves, try to start appropriate sentences with YOU. This pushes the pride button and avoids having them translate it into ME. Instead if saying, “That is a nice suit”, you could say, “YOU really look good in that suit”. Suppose you are in a meeting and someone brings up a good suggestion. Instead of saying, “That is a good idea”, you might say, “YOU really have a good idea there”. Sales people can see the result by putting people in the picture. Instead of saying “This will create better results for the company” you could say “You will see better results right away If you want a better response from someone, put him or her in the picture of your question. Instead of asking, “Where is the main office located?”, you might ask, “Can YOU tell me where the main office is located?” This puts them at the center of attention instead of the main office. It also shifts their mind into a “yes or no” response to lead them to answer your question. And, it implies that by knowing this information, it shows how important they are to you. If you are a parent, you might try this with your children (and remember, your co-workers are just big kids). Instead of giving a command such as “Eat you vegetables”, you might try “YOU will really love these vegetables”. OK, maybe that will not work with kids and vegetables, but it will certainly change the way they see the mental picture they create. Remember that every one of us has the need to feel important. Take every opportunity to include the word “YOU” in your conversations and notice how well people respond. I promise, YOU will notice the difference!